Saddle bags. Some of you know the reference, it's the extra thigh/low butt attaching itself upon our legs like a growth. Unless you carry a Jennifer Gardner frame you can relate in some form or another.

I'm not a tall person, I'm actually rather short. I make up for my shortness by carrying a "tall" personality...it's almost the female version of Napoleon's complex except I'm a bit less into taking over the world and more in tune with my insecurities. Speaking of lets go back to why I bring up Saddle bags.

Here's where my shortness becomes an issue for me. I've had a couple kids and well my weight would be appropriate for a 6ft supermodel. I am neither 6ft or a supermodel...perhaps you can relate?!

With my short mom complex I've decided to take a new route. I'm really good at working out as long as I have NOTHING else going on. If anything else could possibly distract me well, it wins over exercise. So I'm taking a new approach.

What is it? It's a marathon....Stop laughing. I kid not. I'm not crazy, I'm going to start with a half. If you know me you know I DON'T run! Why? because I'm prejudice against runners. That and I don't believe I or anyone else should be exposed to the ways in which my body moves when at a faster than stroll pace. But the saddle bags MUST go. Oh and word is that my h.s. reunion is around the corner.

Things I will NOT do while taking on a runner persona:

• Purchase short shorts (if something is so short it has to be repeated well...count me out)
  
• Buy running shoes over $80 (do we really have to purchase new clothes every time we try something out?)
  
• Begin eating power bars (unless the words chocolate or caramel are involved)
• make protein shakes (I don't do shakes unless Ice cream is an ingredient hence my chubby issue)
  
• place a raw egg anywhere near my mouth
• Begin using words like "BMI" or "Best time"(runner jargon is highly annoying)
  
• blue tooth while running (who are you people? and how do you do that?)
• run in the middle of the street (I don't have a death wish)
  
• run in a sports bra (again, I am aware of my insecurities and I have my sanity still...sort of)