RenderingRisch
A unique mind in an everyday life.

Chubby Girl

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Holiday No No List:

1. No baking, b/c really how many of those are going to make it into my mouth before I offer them to someone else? Umm at least 3.
2. Parties on empty stomachs. No matter how much you dislike a cheese log in the end you will reach for a cracker.
a. Cheese log eating is acceptable if you violate rule 4.
3. Considering the whole month of December as a "free" day. Oh you know what I'm talking about.
4. Rationalizing that you can have an extra glass or two of eggnog b/c you've put on 5 lbs (5 or 10lbs does not equal the ability to drink twice as much). Intoxication at any size can lead to trouble, especially around the holidays.
5. Caught talking or blinking on camera. These photos are always the ones people choose to forward in emails and there you are looking all crazy. My advise: threaten the person with the camera upon meeting and/or ask if you can "see the picture" and silently press "delete".
6. Not having backup gifts. There's always that one person who gives you a gift or your kiddo a gift that you were not prepared for. Despite the economical recession, the exponential credit card debt nationally, and the ever looming taxes due in 3 months you are now bound by obligation to reciprocate the gift. You better run to your gift closet.
7. Trying to put the Xmas tree topper on by yourself. Chubby girl + tree shape = complications.
8. Gingerbread Houses. Cute idea but heartbreaking for the little ones when they catch you making "renovations" on the house. The whole "downsizing the gingerbread home" conversation never sells them.
9. Pants that button. This is the time of year that I suggest sweaters and yoga pants. Hey no one questions it, b/c it's freak'n cold outside and lets be honest we're gonna break 1-4 on the No No list so why torture ourselves with buttons.
10. The biggest No No of all: Christmas Crocheted sweaters w/ decals.
2 comments:

You are so funny...love the list.


Thanks for making my day with this picture....I just gobbled down 6 cookies from a box somebody sent to my work. It has been sitting there for a LONG time, and today I caved. Hello, "Holidays".


March 17 means

Me.As.Risch

My photo
I talk WAY too much about absolutely nothing, but it's my own way of getting to what actually matters. Too analytical but at times it comes in handy. Enjoy hearing peoples stories. Get bugged by stereo-type people. Bad speller. Secretly lazy. Quasi OCD. Carry a constant frustration for the marginalization within America. Sarcastic. Suffer from (UL) aka uncontrollable laughter...never know when it's going to hit.

On my night stand

  • Foster's: Celebration of Discipline
  • Gawande's : Better
  • Macarthur's: New Testiment Commentary
  • Orman: Women & Money
  • Pausch's: The Last Lecture
  • Rowling's: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  • Safran's: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
  • Young's: The Shack

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