are always an interesting topic come lecture day. How should the topic be introduced? How should it be discussed? What does it mean to be ethical? My conclusion was to ask them the same questions. 

For a reason and I spent the morning reminding my students why. I've heard quite a few speeches in my day and I can honestly say today's speeches were...well...umm...memorable. After listening to 60 some odd presentations today I felt compelled to compile a top 10 list of "signs" for my readers. "Signs" that your presentation may not be going so well, or in the case of a student "signs you may not be getting an A." This list is based solely on the speeches I heard today. Here goes;

I'm also employed? Yes imagine that, I am paid to do something. The thought is quite riveting, well to me at least. Before I had my kids I got to dabble (1 semester & a couple classes) with instructing at the local university. Well I'm back. I return to work at a local community college in about 1.5 weeks and I'm terribly overwhelmed. Not in a bad way, so please no lectures. Overwhelmed with thoughts, ideas, syllabi content, and such.

After spending the afternoon reviewing educational laws and bylaws I started reflecting on more enjoyable areas of education. Below is a brief description of a few of my favorite instructors from college.
(please note I'm brave enough to post a picture w/ me 8 months preggo)
Please enjoy:

• Dr. C = Chinese accent was incredibly difficult to interpret and read (no that's not a misprint). Favorite remark "You are my little lions, ready to roar, I shall teach you how."
• Dr. D = Deaf and refused to use a hearing aid or interpreter. It was an incredibly interesting political science course. End grade = C
• Dr. C (different one) = Last semester before retirement. Favorite remark, " All religions are cults, so pick one and prove it."
• Dr. U = Sold me on communication as life. Favorite project: Select a topic that the majority of people in the room disagree with and now persuade them. Final project. Success = majority persuaded.
  
• Dr. P = Continues to refer to me as Molly Shannon and shouts "superstar" whenever I'm in view.
  

What about you? who was your favorite professor, instruct, teacher? Stories Please!

I walked. I accepted fake diploma. I fake smiled till it hurt. I was REALLY proud. Mostly I was proud that my son could be there, regardless of his ability to recall the event. So many reasons to quit and too few to commit. But the few were the important ones...

As of today I have 2 of my 3 comprehensive exams completed (theoretical and cognate areas). All I have left is one and then of course my exam oral defense in which I will go on trial for my last written paper and my 3 exams (joy). Anyhoo, this is what I've been up to and this is what I'm doing.

If all goes well after my defense I intend to spend the rest of the day wearing my hood, even though I have not officially been hooded yet, yes that's the term. I feel kind of gangsta or kkk-ish using that term (hmm...very different affiliations).
If all doesn't go well I intend to drown my sorrows in a large vat, yes vat of ice-cream (and I'm not even a huge fan of the stuff, but for obvious reasons liquor is out).

please note my freakishly long phalanges in the picture!

I just want to give a shout out to the bird that attempted to commit Hari Cari this morning on the window of the office I was attempting to write my essay in. It was nice symbolism for the current emotion I was experiencing at the time. I suppose it was more like a head plunge rather than a knife through the gut for those of you who cling to accuracy.

Though the attempt was unsuccessful I can reassure you, little bird full of angst, that you are not alone in this great big world and we all have days where we feel like ramming our head straight into a window while attempting a nose dive. Thank you for reminding me that the head into window option often results in a moment of stunned pain but ultimately leave me with the need to go back to what I was doing and a gigantic headache.

Today I was walking around Fresno State's campus. I was contemplating my new found reality that this was no longer my home. Well in a sense it never was but for awhile it was one of my many educational homes. I was thinking about what it was like to be a college freshman, ditching lectures to catch Freddie Prinz jr. movies (I really was a different person), stressing over finals, the smell of spring on campus a mix of the amazing trees that inhabit the campus and all the fast food provided by the student union. I was also thinking about my anxiety entering my first seminar as a graduate student (how I cried for hours to david afterward b/c I didn't know half the words people used during the seminar). I thought about the first day of the first class I taught and the strange euphoria I experienced staring at all these first time freshman. Things really do come full circle in a way.

Now I'm walking around campus almost giving my good-byes. I know I'll be back. heck I may never finish, but no matter what after may 16 things will be different. I realized I'm an ADULT. Not in the I wear stretch waist, high water mom pants or anything but in the "one of these things is not like the other" way. I'm not that 18 year old, with the middle part and uber long hair, with my gap tank, and fake tan. I'm not unsure of what I want or who I want to be. I may not be who I want to be fully, but I know now. It's this understanding that I was reckoning upon my walk around campus. I've grown up.

Then I got to the Faculty parking lot and I saw this:


My thought ended with a revelation: despite what we come to know or who we come to be, toys like people, only become bigger!

By being both a student and the occasional lecture giver I have the pleasure of noticing new trends for note taking. The once expected note pad and paper that I used in '99 has now been replaced by laptops. yes my students sit behind their own personal screens and pretend like I don't know they're playing games and emailing friends or fandango-ing.

Tonight as I sat in front of my own screen contemplating how in the world I was going to complete my own work I looked down and there HE was. He's been with me since 1999 and he's a good pal. He has provided plenty of notes and the occasional doodle and for that I will always love him. He is my Dr.Grip and I carry him with me always. I have underlined more books, noted more thoughts, and graded more papers with him than any other pen. I may go as far as to say I could have gotten through my undergraduate without a computer but not without my Dr.Grip. This good Doctor is always in...

When I was 5 I started kindergarten and to the best of mine and my mothers memories I walked in looked around, said my hellos, and then walked straight up to my mother and said "you can go now". I knew then and there I was home! The fresh smell of late summer is in the air and that means that soon I will find myself in the most familiar situation once again. This is my last year of school (I hope/for now). I'm off to finish my masters (I hope). In 3 days I will find myself once again circling the lots at CSUF trying to beat out all the naive freshman for a coveted parking spot. I look forward to climbing those ivory towers of academia, while all the while trying to figure out why I torture myself yearly with term papers, hundreds/thousands of pages of reading, conversational forums that seem to go nowhere, and the perpetual procrastination that finds me about 1 hour into the semester. Why do this, you ask. I'll tell you why. This is MY addiction. You heard me! I'm addicted to school. Okay maybe not school, but learning. Yes, I love the pressure to write something insightful at 2am for a paper due at 8am. I love pages full of ideas and voices that I agree and disagree with. I LOVE THINKING. I love people who think. I love that I can read Habermas, Foucault, Burke, Butler, Nietzsche, Campbell, Baxter, Fisher, Taylor all in 3 months. There's no way I would do all this reading otherwise. But, most of all, I love that I'm surrounded by people who share my addiction. How about you...What's your addiction?